Carolina Girl

Words of a Twenty-Something

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Encounter with the Ex

I hadn't talked to the Ex-Boyfriend since the break....until yesterday. While I was in class, he blows up my phone. Finally, after the fourth call he leaves a message. I listen to the message once I get out of class, and he sounds all rude. He's got this tone in his voice that I do not like. He pretty much says to call him back.

I finally call him back and he pretty much makes up some lame excuse to talk to me. He has been calling my family members all week to talk about me (which really gets on my nerves.) He asks if I am seeing anyone and I pretty much avoid the question. It's none of his business what I am doing now because we're done. Then he had the nerve to ask if I was okay without him. Is he serious?!?! OF COURSE I am fine without you! (First, I am a strong girl who has so much going for her. Second, I have HotBoston to keep my mind off of things.) He asked if we could get together sometime and I told him I didn't know. I really don't want to deal with that right now. Out of sight, out of mind is my motto. After what seemed like an eternity, I finally got off the phone with Ex-Boyfriend.

Later that night, Ex-Boyfriend comes to my job. He just sat at the bar by himself, drinking a beer. I asked what he was doing there. He asked what I was doing after work. I told him I didn't know since I was closing the place. He finally left after a while. It was just plain uncomfortable seeing him. There was nothing left there. It makes me a little sad that our relationship has turned out like this, but I am glad to have found out now instead of when we were married. I plan on getting married only once in my life. I don't do divorce...that's just me.

Besides that, everything else is just as stressful. (Except HotBoston of course!) School is kicking my ass this week. I had two papers due this past Thursday, another due yesterday, another due Monday, a presentation on Monday, and 3 tests next Friday. Talk about being stressful!

HotBoston and I have been good. We had a "talk" about us. We pretty much agreed that we both did not want a girlfriend/boyfriend but that we liked each other and liked hanging out together. I like our situation because it is so mellow and not clingy.

The other night at work, it was completely dead and we were so bored. So I pulled HotBoston into the walk-in cooler and made out for a good 10-15 minutes. It was awesome! I love the excitement of our "relationship" and it totally made the night go by so much faster!


Monday, September 19, 2005

Facebook

So my school just got added to Facebook and it is sooo addicting! I swear I was sitting at my computer for a good 2 hours looking up my friends. My eyes hurt! Lots of people at my school use MySpace but I find that to be too confusing. Facebook is just so much easier and everyone uses it. Besides blogs, I have found a new addiction....

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Moving On

So it's been a week since the break up...and I am doing GREAT! Can you believe it?! I just feel so refreshed and like HUGE weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My attitude is also refreshing. Besides that, I am still busy with school. I am so ready to be done.

So, I know this is probably too soon...but I have been hanging out with this hottie from work. We'll call him HotBoston. HotBoston. I have been hanging out with him for the past two weeks. I've known him for a year and there has always been some attraction between us. Now that I am single, the flirtation has gotten overwhelming. He's the kind of guy that looks at you and your stomach does a flip. He's just sooo HOTT!

Anyway, the other night I went over to HotBoston's apartment. We had a few drinks and just chilled for a while. Some of his friends came by and we all played beer pong. It was a serious game and we won of course! After everyone left, we hung out in his room and talked for a while. One thing led to another and we started making out. And WOW, he is a GREAT kisser!!! Nothing else happened between us, but I can't say that I wouldn't have liked it to. I just did not want to be that girl who just breaks up with her boyfriend and sleeps with a guy a few days later. He respected that and we just laid there and talked more. He is so refreshing to talk to. He actually listens to what I have to say and he's so sweet. I don't want him to be a "rebound" guy because he is such a good guy. I also don't need another boyfriend...hell, I just got rid of one! I'm just going to take it day by day. I haven't been single for a while and it's fun! I forgot exactly how much fun I had before the boyfriend...

Monday, September 12, 2005

The Break Up

Yesterday I broke up with Boyfriend. He took it badly at first, but in the end he was okay, i guess. I was going to stop by his house and do it in person like a mature adult, but I ended up having to take it back to high school and do it over the phone. Here's why.

So I was on the phone with Dell (cause my laptop crashed) and Boyfriend was blowing up my phone. I sent him a text message saying I was on the phone and I would call him later. He sends me a text back saying he needed me to come over now. I was worried because I thought maybe something happened. So I text him back asking why he needed me over right away. This is his response: My parents are gone and I want to have sex. Can you believe him?!?! Was he not in tune as to how I had been acting towards him all week?!?! I was annoyed now. So I call him and I tell him I am not coming over. He gets all pissy, tells me to f*ck myself, and hangs up. I am really pissed now. How dare he talk to me like that?!?! I deserve better.

So I call him back and tell him I couldn't believe he would talk to me like that. I deserve more respect than that. I tell him I just sick of all the drama and that he stresses me out way more than school does. School is my number one priority right now. He starts to understand where I am coming from and starts acting like the guy I fell in love with. He tells me he still loves me and if this is going to make me feel better, then he understands. He tells me if I want to get back together in a month (or however long) he will be waiting for me. I told him not to do that because who knows if I ever want to get back together. He proceeds to tell me he is always going to be there for me no matter what.

At this point, I do start to cry because it is sad how such a great relationship turned for the worst so fast. He was my best friend and he knew things about me that no one else did. He was my first REAL relationship as I was his. I was also crying because it was such a big weight lifted off of my shoulders. I feel so refreshed now. It's weird. Everyone who knows about the break up keeps asking me if I am okay. It's weird but I am. I have a whole life ahead of me and there are plenty of more fish in the sea.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

All Cried Out

I apologize for not being up to date, but my laptop has crashed so I have not been able to read any blogs or post anything new until now.

So a quick update on what is going on with Boyfriend and I. Last weekend, Boyfriend went over the top and almost got dumped. Let me explain. During the week, we're so busy that we really don't have time to spend together. It is always left for the weekend. Well, Friday night we were going to just rent a movie and chill. I had a long week, as did he, and we just wanted to relax (or so I thought.)

Well, I call him Friday night when I got off of work. Where was Boyfriend?!? He was at this guy A's house (who by the way, Boyfriend promised me he would not hang out with anymore. A is a 30-yr-old coke dealer who has no life. He's a loser and I can't stand it when Boyfriend hangs with him.) Ok, back to the original story. So Boyfriend was at A's house. I was pissed. Boyfriend and I proceeded to fight about it (as we always do when A's name comes up.) As Boyfriend and I are arguing, A gets on the phone and asks me why I don't like him. I humor him and proceed to tell him why. He KNOWS why I don't like him, so I don't know why he asks such a dumb question. He gets pissed at the answer I give him, throws the phone, and I could hear him yelling at Boyfriend "Why are you on the phone with that bitch?! She's such a f*cking bitch! Blah Blah Blah" Now I am livid. How dare he call me a bitch?! I don't care if I am being one or not. He has no right to be disrespecting me like that!

Boyfriend gets back on the phone and does not even call A out. He acts like he didn't even hear it. I am screaming at Boyfriend now "Are you going to let him talk to me like that?!?!" Boyfriend doesn't say anything and hangs up the phone. I call back and Boyfriend tells me he is going to go to the club with this toolbag. I am soooo livid at this point! How dare the both of them?!?! I am even more pissed at Boyfriend. Boyfriend tells me he will come to my house a little later. I hang up on him.

Long story short, he never comes to my house and the next morning I am ready to break up with him. Why would I want to be with someone who won't even stand up for me to his loser "friend"? Boyfriend apologizes and begs me to forgive him. I sort of let it slide, but it still pisses me off today (a week later.) So all week, I am distant and short with Boyfriend and have been doing my own thing. He has been sucking up to me BAD, but I am not really trying to hear it. I could not believe this is the guy I was willing to change my post graduation plans for and even thinking about marrying. That picture definitely went out the window. I am now numb to the situation and our relationship, it feels like. I have decided that I am going to break up with him. I have so many other things going on in my life that I can not be constantly upset over Boyfriend. It's my senior year and my classes are demanding. I work 5 days a week and I am so involved on campus. That is enough stress already and I don't need him adding to it. He should be my comfort zone when everything else is chaos.

After this week, I am not happy anymore and I don't think there is anything Boyfriend can do to change that. It's sad that I feel no emotion now because I have given Boyfriend 2 years of my life. (I mean that is the longest relationship I've ever had with someone.) Don't misunderstand me now; this situation is not just the reason why I feel this way. Things have been building and building over time and now everything has come out. I have done everything for this guy and I was the BEST girlfriend I could be. It's sad to admit this, but I was that girl who put her boyfriend before herself. Now it's ME time! You know how they say whenever you date someone for a certain period of time, you need a certain amount of time to get over it, well that does not apply to me. I'm all cried out and I'm done.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Oprah & Katrina

I was watching Oprah yesterday and today and she was on location in New Orleans, Mississippi, and Alabama. I have avoided blogging on the devastation because it is so sad. My heart goes out to all those people affected by Katrina. Oprah actually went out to these places and talked to the surviving victims. It is so sad to hear these people cry out for help. They need food, water, clothes, etc. There were babies and children who didn't even realize the events that happened. There were animals who had to be left behind by their owners. Oprah interviewed this man who rounded up over hundreds of dogs, cats, etc. and has been taking care of the animals. He wanted to make sure they were safe and reunited with their owners. Oprah also had different celebrities come down and bring relief to the victims.

All I have to say is that I LOVE OPRAH. She is so generous and such a good person. I wish I could do more to help those victims of Katrina, but I can't. The world needs more people like Oprah.